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Jean-Baptiste Emanuel Zorg
06 March 2003 @ 01:54 am
ok, well the new layout for locust-heart is just not doing what it's supposed to. brenda fixed it sorta while i was asleep, but after i re-uploaded the thing i took out last night before i went to sleep, and before brenda did her magic, still doesn't work. why? because there is no god and i hate babies. i really wish brenda would get on, not to fix my site, but because i'm worried about her, and i miss her, and we haven't gotten to talk much in the past few days, and and and i dreamed of her last night. and so was brad. and so was teigan. and the brad woke me up, and when i went back to sleep, teigan was replaced by OC who just left the room. and it wasn't a small OC in cat form, it was a very curvy woman with OC's head, which wasn't in proportion to the rest of the body, it was still cat sized. kinda creepy, especially because the body was dead sexy.

but yeah, anyway, congrats to all of you who are doing great in life and my heart goes out to you who are stuck in a bad spot in life, and theres alot of you. <3
Mood: uncomfortable
Music: earthworm - ohGr
Jean-Baptiste Emanuel Zorg
06 March 2003 @ 02:39 am
i hate crying. i want to wake up brad. i need someone to talk to.

today i decided i was going to kick my habit of thumb sucking. i've been sleeping on my hands so i won't do it in my sleep, and i've been chewing gum like crazy to keep my mind off it. i asked my grandma tonight if i'm successful if she'll get me invisalign. she agreed and told me to call her at work tomorrow to remind her to call the dentist. so i was all happy, i'll finally be able to smile at people and not feel stupid. i thought i'd look up information on invisalign, and i find out it doesn't correct bite alignments, it only works for straightening teeth, which means i'll have to have braces. i'm crying i'm so upset and scared about this. i don't want braces. i hate myself as it is, i don't need a mouth full of metal making me feel even more insecure. if someone would have fucking made me stop when i was little i wouldn't be going through this shit now. it's hard enough that i'm trying my hardest to give up my number one comfort device, but now what do i get to look forward to at the end of my self-discipline? pain and embarrassment.

goddamnit i wish brenda was on. i wish brad was awake. i need a hug so bad, and sorry, no, e-hugs won't help me right now. jesus christ -.-
Mood: depressed